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I can’t win for losing.

by April on January 29, 2015 · 0 comments

There will be times in your life that you will try to do what you believe to be the right thing, and the only thing you will accomplish is feeling like everything you’ve done is totally and completely wrong.


I try to live my life by what I believe the Bible teaches us. This past Sunday the pastor at the church I was visiting said that the greatest thing we can do as Christians is not love, but obedience. I’m pretty sure he and I wouldn’t agree with the details, but I do try to live a life of obedience and that means loving others. When people around me do not claim to follow God, or believe in him, I try to love them even more. Many of the reasons the people I know don’t believe in God is due to a disconnect between what they’ve seen people do in “His” name versus what what they’ve been taught. I want to show people that God loves them.

This past week I had an opportunity to show love in action and I failed. No matter what I tried to do, I upset both parties involved and I found myself wishing I had never said anything. I tried to love both, and neither felt loved. Neither party could see my perspective and all I felt like I did was make a mess of things.

Jesus was a gentle person, yet he was stronger than anyone who has ever walked on this earth. He showed love and compassion that was unheard of in his day, yet he was harsher to the spiritual “leaders” of that time than anyone else. He drove the money changers out of the temple. He called the little children to him. He rebuked the wind and waves. He healed the wounded. Even those closest to him questioned his behavior and ran from him in his darkest hour.

As Christians we are not called to be milquetoast, but our strength is not always going to look like the common practices of this world. If given the choice between doing what I believe is biblically right and what is expected, I’m going to choose what I believe God commands us to do. If I make a mistake, I will seek to be honest and apologize for what I have done wrong.

I think this is the best thing we can do.

“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9. I’m not a true peacemaker — there are those I know so much better suited for the task — but I try.

I can’t win for losing– but I guess it’s not my job to “win,” is it?


A perk to this apartment we are living in is that it has fantastic lighting in the afternoons. Now, it gets SUPER hot on warm days, so I wouldn’t like this place in the summer, but I had a lot of fun last Friday taking a few pics of the kids! Bluebelle was willing and SO much fun to photograph this time. I hope this is a sign that we’ve turned a corner and she’ll allow me to take pics again. Dean Bean (formerly Squishy, still Little Man) is now not as cooperative. Of course.

I’ve decided to share a few pics and give you, my family and friends, a little update on both of them!

NCH 2015 (1 of 25)

Dean Bean

18 months old. Already.

Little man, you’re my little cuddlebug. You love me and want me with you just about non-stop. I don’t mind most of the time. You love to imitate your sister, dance, growl, climb, unroll the toilet paper, get in any unlatched cabinets, open and close doors, and figure out everything. You have an obsession with any phones or iPads you can grab. You love trains, balls, and things with wheels.

You say mama, dada, sissy, gramma, papa, thank you, cat, dog, hot dog (for Mickey Mouse), cookie, all done, bye bye and a few other words I can’t think of right now. You imitate the sounds of words really well. You understand just about everything we tell you and your comprehension is scary good. You love singing into your sister’s microphone. You love to make people laugh.

I can’t imagine our little family without you.

NCH 2015 (3 of 25)

I love your personality.

NCH 2015 (6 of 25)

You’re my special little man, and I love our bond.

NCH 2015 (8 of 25)


What do I say about you, child of my heart?

I love you so much. You’re almost 5, in just a few months, and I wish with all my heart I could stop time. You’re so smart and funny. You spend 95% of your day talking or trying to make us laugh.

NCH 2015 (10 of 25)

I have a hard time with the knowledge that I’m going to have to share you soon.

You are very talented. You love to color, draw, and you love the arts. The other night, you wanted to fall asleep watching “le nozze de figaro,” and we did. You have a remarkable understanding of the emotions behind the music, even though it was an Italian opera.  Speaking of emotions, you have them in spades. I love your tender heart. Please never lose your compassionate nature.

NCH 2015 (23 of 25)

You’re still obsessed with Frozen. You love Hello Kitty, dolls, Legos, princesses, books, and anything that’s a puzzle. You’re so good with your letters, sounds, and writing words. You’re as social as they come.

NCH 2015 (17 of 25)

You have your daddy’s fun entertaining personality with my need to be precise (well, you get that from both of us). You’re the best big sister I know. You take care of Dean Bean and protect him on every playground. You think of others.

NCH 2015 (24 of 25)

I love you and your beautiful blue eyes.

NCH 2015 (22 of 25)

Both of you are my delight. I’m so thankful I get to be your mom.

Well, I hope you like this little update! As you can tell, I’m a pretty proud mama. They and their daddy make this life worthwhile and they make me want to be a better person. I hope everyday I’m a person that points them in the right direction.


Distracted. That’s my story right now.

January 16, 2015

This past year (2014), I really started taking more steps toward being more present with my family. It was a kind of an unofficial resolution, but I was tired of being too distracted to be with my kids. Owning and maintaining a blog is a really fun thing, but it can be too easy to […]

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Shouldn’t house buying be fun?

January 13, 2015

We’re getting into major crunch time for our house shopping, and it’s getting pretty frustrating. There are not a lot of options in our price range, and the ones that are, they are going fast. We thought we had found the right house for us last weekend and we actually got the winning bid on […]

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A little old house.

January 11, 2015

We’re in the middle of our house hunt, and we have had the opportunity to look at some beautiful homes. I’ve loved seeing the granite countertops, the hardwood floors, and the stone fireplaces. Some have made me feel like owning it would make me feel fancy. But driving back in hometown this past week made […]

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I’m back!! A life update.

January 5, 2015

I’M STILL HERE!! Oh my goodness, where do I begin? In October of this past year, my husband got a call from the corporate office that he had been selected for a promotion within his company. I am so proud of him because he works hard and often would go above and beyond in order […]

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Needing advice this holiday season!

November 28, 2014

Do you ever have expectations for a holiday and it let you down a little? That’s the best way I can explain yesterday. I spent a lot of time yesterday making a lot of food for our Thanksgiving gathering so my grandmother wouldn’t have to do it all. I made ham, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, […]

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To train or not to train: the sleep question.

November 21, 2014

Just a little encouragement today for mothers of littles: Sleep training. We’ve heard about it and debated it. We either love it or dread it. With Bluebelle, I tried CIO with varied success. I did everything the books said, even though it killed me. Eventually I began to do what worked for me, but it […]

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Bratty behavior.

November 11, 2014

What do you do when you feel the world lets you down? If I was being completely transparent, I would say it feels like the Lord has let me down (not discussing the truth of the situation.) This is my confession: sometimes I wrap up the physical things in my life and attribute them to the work […]

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A lost shoe.

November 7, 2014

    Houston, we have a problem. Seriously, how am I supposed to do anything without a shoe? Does no one care?  Should I pick up the shoe? Why is my mom just taking pictures? I can’t believe they would leave me here with just one shoe.  Sigh. I guess I just need to pick […]

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