Bratty behavior.

by April on November 11, 2014 · 0 comments

RDM October Blog (19 of 100)What do you do when you feel the world lets you down? If I was being completely transparent, I would say it feels like the Lord has let me down (not discussing the truth of the situation.)

This is my confession: sometimes I wrap up the physical things in my life and attribute them to the work of the Lord. If something goes right, it’s all God. If it crashes and burns, it’s God’s fault too. Lately I’ve been wanting for an amazing, mind-blowing thing to happen in me and my family’s life. I was hoping for something BIG. Something that would blow me away, ease major stresses, and make my life a whole lot easier in the midst of a crazy time.

It wasn’t just 100% for me. In fact, it was something for someone I love very much. My husband. I had decided that he needed X — whatever thing I thought he needed to be shown to let him know his value. After talking about it with family and too many people, I built this idea up to the level that it MUST be. decided it. Not God.

Today I found out that it falls short of what I had envisioned. Way short. And I’m angry. After the tears had dried I could only think one permeating thought:

God, this is not what I thought you would do. I thought you were capable of huge things. Huge things I desperately wanted to see in MY life. Right now. 

It’s so easy, isn’t it? It’s so easy to see others out of the corners of our eyes that seem to have it just a little better, that seem a little more “blessed” with life. Whether or not that’s accurate (and it’s not), it’s what we feel in those moments. Our envy gets the better of us.

Is God less capable of huge things? OF COURSE NOT! In fact, the things He’s capable of is so much bigger and so much more important than what I was hoping for. God is a healer, a redeemer, a deliverer, a rescuer, and God is much more interested in the refining of my character and my heart than the material “blessings” I feel I deserve.

The truth is, I don’t deserve any of the things I’m whining over. The things that truly matter in my life? I have them and they are priceless. 

While I’m still struggling with my anger over the situation, I know that perhaps I can be of better use on the path I am currently on. Even if it’s not as easy. The road less traveled is hard, and it’s narrow.

We will be okay. We will be more than okay, because we have seen God’s faithfulness in much, much more trying times. I shouldn’t blame God. It’s not accurate and it’s simply me lashing out at who I love most.

Today I’m thankful for His forgiveness. Even when I’m being a brat.

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A lost shoe.

by April on November 7, 2014 · 0 comments

 

 

Houston, we have a problem.

RDM October Blog (46 of 100)

Seriously, how am I supposed to do anything without a shoe? Does no one care? RDM October Blog (47 of 100)

Should I pick up the shoe? Why is my mom just taking pictures? I can’t believe they would leave me here with just one shoe. RDM October Blog (48 of 100)

Sigh. I guess I just need to pick it up. RDM October Blog (49 of 100)

Nonnie– stop taking pictures. I’m a man in need!
RDM October Blog (50 of 100)

This poor boy. What does he do with us? ;)

 

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A little update!

November 6, 2014

Since it’s been well over a MONTH until I’ve been written in here, I figured it was time to do a little updating! October was a crazy month for us. My husband has received a promotion for his job! I’m so proud of him and he deserves this. It also means a lot of changes […]

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Parenting is really just a shot in the dark.

September 30, 2014

My friend and I were laughing this morning about how new parents or parents-to-be tend to range from idealistic to full-blown crazy. (Lets face it, this is pretty much life.) Every day my facebook feed is filled with ideas on how to be the perfect parent or have a perfectly well-adjusted baby. There are suggestions […]

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Should I stop?

September 29, 2014

Sometimes I feel like I’m writing into nothingness. It’s indicative of the way I currently feel in my life — average. Does anyone just wish they could see what it is they are supposed to be doing? I feel like I have no real idea of what my talents or gifts are. I sing my […]

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Can positivity be a bad thing?

September 25, 2014

I consider myself to be a positive person. I trust in the One who made me and I believe that “all things work together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose.” I personally have seen God make use of my life over and over again and I know that he […]

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Pick-up post #2: thoughts on clouds.

September 18, 2014

I love cool and cloudy days. I think it’s because it feels like the earth is brooding and introspective. Sunshine can be optimistic to the point of being pushy. “Look at me! Come outside! Go! Do! Never stop!” It’s a relentless onslaught of high energy. After a long winter, I welcome the sun and it’s […]

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Random thoughts about sin and grace.

September 16, 2014

Charles Spurgeon once said, “If your sin is small, your savior will be small also. But if your sin is great, then your savior must be great.” (Paraphrased by Derek Webb) The more I am confronted with my Savior, the more I am stricken with my own sinfulness. And it hurts. I consider myself to […]

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My four year old is not sexy.

September 5, 2014

My daughter is four and she is currently obsessed with princesses. I’ve tried to encourage her to branch out, but I’m all too aware that this is common and I simply try to include strong and non-princessy lessons in along the way. It’s okay. I know that this obsession will end all too soon and […]

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Ramblings, Routines, and Life.

August 27, 2014

We’ve developed a routine in this household. It’s the first one that’s truly stuck in the last 8 years, the past years filled with travel and survival that comes along with child raising. For the first time in years, (since B was a toddler!) I’m actually leaving the end of the day with a couple […]

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