Pick-up post #2: thoughts on clouds.

by April on September 18, 2014 · 0 comments

I love cool and cloudy days. I think it’s because it feels like the earth is brooding and introspective.

Sunshine can be optimistic to the point of being pushy. “Look at me! Come outside! Go! Do! Never stop!” It’s a relentless onslaught of high energy. After a long winter, I welcome the sun and it’s optimism. I spring clean, till the soil until I see the tender green shoots of new life, and I long to uncurl my legs in the golden rays of light.

Even so, my heart leans towards the soothing calm of a cloudy day. It’s where I feel at home. It’s a classical composition, a candle flame, and a cup of coffee.

It’s the day that I slow down enough to think about the meaning behind things. A cloudy day soothes my soul in a way I struggle to describe.

Perhaps because I can relate to it.

There is the promise of more on a cloudy day, whether it be rain or sun. The world gets a little quieter. Life seems to hunker down and take care of its own.

I hope today is beautiful to you too, wherever you are.


**Pick-up posts are thoughts I think about and write down when waiting in the pick-up line at school. All thoughts are free thought and roughly sketched out. Why? Because it’s important to write, even if it’s random. :)

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Random thoughts about sin and grace.

by April on September 16, 2014 · 0 comments

IMG_0860.JPGCharles Spurgeon once said, ā€œIf your sin is small, your savior will be small also. But if your sin is great, then your savior must be great.ā€ (Paraphrased by Derek Webb)

The more I am confronted with my Savior, the more I am stricken with my own sinfulness.

And it hurts.

I consider myself to be a good person. I try to use nice language, good manners, and I don’t expose myself to a lot of crude things as a rule. I try to adhere to the “whatever is good, lovely, admirable…” philosophy.

The problem is, that too quickly secures me into self-righteousness. I begin to believe that because I am a good person, I am somehow exempt from bad feelings and emotions. Or when I feel something negative, I give myself a free pass on my behavior because it doesn’t overbalance the mental scale I have constructed in my mind.

The truth is, there is no such scale.

There is Grace, yes, and how thankful I am for it! Still, the sin that hinders is still there if I don’t confront it.

I’m learning that I struggle with jealousy in certain areas of my life, and I never considered myself a particularly jealous person. I also struggle with anger. Yesterday, a lady and I both stopped at a stop sign today and we both thought we had the right-away. I could have punched her in the face (not really, but in my imagination I say that to people). These were simply things I didn’t know I really struggle with, because I’ve always been able to reason with them in the past.

We don’t like to talk about sin, do we? I know I don’t. It’s incredibly easy for me to look at a person and see nothing but the good in them, and I do that as a rule. I don’t want to judge (it’s not my place) or make anyone feel excluded so I won’t say a single thing negative about a behavior. What I’ve been confronted with, however, is the fact that my reluctance to address sin does not in any way erase the fact that sin does, indeed, exist.

So where do we go from here?

For me, it comes down to acknowledging the fact that I fall short. I fail, but I’m not a failure. I make mistakes and I am so wrong in so many ways, but that’s not the end of my story. Grace is what keeps us going. Forgiveness is how we can move on.

I can only learn how to give grace when I accept grace. I’m a person that needs a whole lot of grace.

I’m so thankful for it.

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My four year old is not sexy.

September 5, 2014

My daughter is four and she is currently obsessed with princesses. I’ve tried to encourage her to branch out, but I’m all too aware that this is common and I simply try to include strong and non-princessy lessons in along the way. It’s okay. I know that this obsession will end all too soon and […]

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Ramblings, Routines, and Life.

August 27, 2014

We’ve developed a routine in this household. It’s the first one that’s truly stuck in the last 8 years, the past years filled with travel and survival that comes along with child raising. For the first time in years, (since B was a toddler!) I’m actually leaving the end of the day with a couple […]

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First day of school!

August 21, 2014

Well, sister did it! We all woke up early this morning, too excited to sleep. I made pancakes and we got ready. I did fine, although I got a little choked up as I saw her wear her little backpack on the way to class. When we walked in, she went straight to her cubby, […]

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Bluebelle and the classroom.

August 16, 2014

This is the last Saturday of summer for this crew, as Bluebelle starts Pre-K this week. My baby, starting school. Hold me. Truth be told, I never intended to put her in Pre-K. I always assumed I would wait until Kindergarten to put her in, as school drags on forever and I want to keep […]

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The American Dream

August 13, 2014

Today I stood around talking with some women at the pool. We were there collectively, watching our little tots complete their swim lessons. We’ve become casual friends, finding common ground in early motherhood, a lack of sleep, our combined desire for a moment of adult companionship and the common everyday occurrences in our local area. […]

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Wordless Friday. Because I can.

August 8, 2014

I’m just in the mood to update this blog with a few photos from the last few weeks. Enjoy! These are from the month of July — our trip to Texas, the zoo, and the 4th of July! I love my family. The end.Ā  Pin It

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VBS, looking foolish, and finding “home.”

July 28, 2014

(This post isn’t so much about my week at VBS, like the exact things we did, but some of my thoughts that came with it as the week progressed.) This past month I taught music to younger children at VBS. This was the first time I had been back to VBS in the last 5 […]

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On ETBU, and meeting up with an old friend.

July 26, 2014

I loved my college experience. Loved it. I know a private Christian university isn’t for everyone, and you wouldn’t think an 18 year old whom had never had a curfew and had very lenient parents would choose to attend a school where many policies were considered antiquated. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, […]

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