Yesterday, we welcomed a sweet little addition to the family — my cousin gave birth to a 7 lb, 20.25 in long baby boy. I can’t wait to love on him! Three babies in 2010 – yay!
My cousin did beautifully. She was able to convince her doctor (same as mine) to induce ON her due date (lucky! 😉 ), at 40 weeks exactly, and she delivered her son at 3:39 pm (water broke at 8:30 am). She had the same doctor, and the EXACT same routine as mine (see here if you care to have a refresher). The only difference is that apparently my body was defective. Actually, I was further dialated when I went in for my induction than she was… but not by much.
I ended up with an emergency c-section. I know I did my best. I didn’t realize that the labor was out of the norm until much later, and I have a beautiful, healthy daughter. I am happy.
Recently, however, I have heard a ton of comments from my family about how they disapproved of the fact that I had a c-section. “I should have been allowed to go into labor on my own,” “I think you could have had the baby without a c-section,” etc.
At first, I felt cheated and dismayed that I did not go through a “normal” delivery. Did I not get the “full experience”? Am I not fully a woman because I had a c-section? In this part of the state, the hospital policy is “once a c-section, always a c-section.” I can’t even try to be “normal” if I wanted to.
Then I realized/remembered, Motherhood is not about how you became a mother. Whether a traditional labor, a c-section, adoption, or another means, how you become a mother is not as important as how you are AS a mother. One of my friends carried her baby for 42 weeks, and gave birth via c-section to a perfect, nearly 10 lb, baby girl! Is that not real work? My aunt had an emergency c-section for nearly the same reason as I. Is she not a mother because she didn’t traditionally deliver? NO! I have friends who have adopted their first child around the same time as I had Belle… are they not mothers?
We are all moms. We all toiled and worked to obtain motherhood. Let’s stop this comparison thing, because it’s futile. You’re not better than me because you pushed your kid out of your you-know-what, and I’m not better because I went through major abdominal surgery to have mine.
That’s all I have to say about that.