(NOTE: I am aware that my blog is little bare bones. Bear with me. I’m learning how to do this on my own and therefore I’m sure I’ll make a million mistakes. At least I am getting better with each mistake!)
I’ve been pretty busy up until the last few days. Between moving, family obligations, and all the stuff that make up life, I’ve been running around like crazy. On top of all that, Todd really injured his back just a few days before the move. Thankfully, my in-laws took care of Bluebelle for the first several days so I could focus all my energy on getting our place unpacked. Sunday was the first day my muscles weren’t sore!
So, how am I?
Moving back to Texas has been a little tough. This is a rougher transition than when we moved to Stillwater. I think it’s because when we moved there, we loved the town. We loved the quiet feel and it was a welcome break after being in limbo for nearly 2 years. There are a lot of benefits to being back in DFW, but I miss the quiet of the country. I cannot believe I’m saying that. I used to LIVE for the city. I was obsessed. Now, I just want a quiet plot of land and I don’t want to feel like I am risking my life in order to get a gallon of milk. (Traffic. I didn’t miss it.)
The benefits are that we are getting to be closer to other members of our family and friends. This past weekend we were able to spend time at a picnic on the grounds in East Texas and we didn’t have to worry about rushing back, or a long drive. It was lovely. We are able to connect with people that we have felt as though we have unintentionally abandoned. If we hadn’t moved back, we might have missed a sweet moment like this —
On a more personal note, I have been trying to work a little bit more on becoming a better person. I am well aware of my personal shortcomings. I’m trying to love more and judge less. I don’t judge the obvious stuff that most people are yelling about (political preferences, etc), but I am really bad about silently judging other people who claim to be one thing and act another way. That’s not my place to judge. I’ve been studying more again, and it’s helped me to stop focusing so much on being …such a punk.
Which leads me to this revelation: perhaps I have been so wrapped up in what I consider “the right things” that I miss the boat entirely with having faith about certain situations. I am so obsessed with the idea of having a house, getting all my hospital bills paid off, and doing everything in the right order before adding to our family. It’s not that I don’t want to — I do. Desperately. It’s just that I feel like I must do things in the right order because I don’t know if I could survive another difficult time. Why do I feel like that? Why must I feel like that?
Does it really matter if we do not have a house we own? Or if we fit the lifestyle the world says we should have?
Do we ever stop worrying about these things?
You see? I need a lot of work.