I will tell you every single day how thankful I am for this pregnancy. I am aware of the blessing. I know I am so lucky, and I count every second as blessed. I don’t take this for granted. I love this opportunity.
That said… it’s okay to not like pregnancy.
I am not one of those women who glow. I have been quiet on here, I know. It’s taking all of my energy to just take care of the day-to-day details that need to get done. I try to keep the house picked up and the child bathed and fed. Everything else has taken a back burner right now. I am not sewing or taking care of any creative details right now, and I’m kind of mad at myself for that because it’s Christmas and I really NEED to be doing those things.
I’ve been on Zofran and B6, and it really helps to just keep me mildly nauseous most of the time. I’m not usually lucky enough to get sick — that would at least give me a few minutes of false relief. I just tend to run to the bathroom only to dry heave for a few minutes. Yuck. It’s just enough time to help B become aware of the fact that I’ve shut and locked the door on her and she starts trying to break in to be with her mama.
I just have one of those bodies that are entirely healthy until pregnancy. Then, I spend the next 9 months feeling pretty yuck. My system just doesn’t seem to know what to do.
I promise to not complain about this so much — and I really hesitate to even talk about it now — but I just want to write and this seems to be all I can think about lately.
I’ve been feeling guilt over not liking pregnancy lately, because I am thankful and I realize my blessing… and I don’t want to be ungrateful for anything I have been given. I think it’s unfair to those who want to be pregnant, and I wish every day that my friends who have that desire could get it.
Even with all that, I do think it’s okay to not like the side effects of such a miracle. Every person is different and every body is different. Some people never feel better. Others have it far worse. I am looking forward to the beautiful moments of pregnancy. I am looking forward to the kicks and soft roundness. I am really looking forward to that little perfect baby in the late June/early July heat. But I’m not crazy about the in-between… and I think that’s okay.
Are you a lucky one during pregnancy, or do you find it less than perfect?
Even though you are grateful, do you ever kind of wish it was a lot faster than 40 weeks?
I love pregnancy… I just don’t always like it.