It’s okay to not like pregnancy.

I will tell you every single day how thankful I am for this pregnancy.  I am aware of the blessing.  I know I am so lucky, and I count every second as blessed.  I don’t take this for granted.  I love this opportunity.

That said… it’s okay to not like pregnancy.

I am not one of those women who glow.  I have been quiet on here, I know.  It’s taking all of my energy to just take care of the day-to-day details that need to get done.  I try to keep the house picked up and the child bathed and fed.  Everything else has taken a back burner right now.  I am not sewing or taking care of any creative details right now, and I’m kind of mad at myself for that because it’s Christmas and I really NEED to be doing those things.

I’ve been on Zofran and B6, and it really helps to just keep me mildly nauseous most of the time.  I’m not usually lucky enough to get sick  — that would at least give me a few minutes of false relief. I just tend to run to the bathroom only to dry heave for a few minutes. Yuck.  It’s just enough time to help B become aware of the fact that I’ve shut and locked the door on her and she starts trying to break in to be with her mama.

I just have one of those bodies that are entirely healthy until pregnancy. Then, I spend the next 9 months feeling pretty yuck.  My system just doesn’t seem to know what to do.

I promise to not complain about this so much — and I really hesitate to even talk about it now — but I just want to write and this seems to be all I can think about lately.

I’ve been feeling guilt over not liking pregnancy lately, because I am thankful and I realize my blessing… and I don’t want to be ungrateful for anything I have been given.  I think it’s unfair to those who want to be pregnant, and I wish every day that my friends who have that desire could get it.

Even with all that, I do think it’s okay to not like the side effects of such a miracle. Every person is different and every body is different.  Some people never feel better.  Others have it far worse.  I am looking forward to the beautiful moments of pregnancy. I am looking forward to the kicks and soft roundness. I am really looking forward to that little perfect baby in the late June/early July heat. But I’m not crazy about the in-between… and I think that’s okay.

Are you a lucky one during pregnancy, or do you find it less than perfect?
Even though you are grateful, do you ever kind of wish it was a lot faster than 40 weeks?

I love pregnancy… I just don’t always like it.

More about April

9 thoughts on “It’s okay to not like pregnancy.

  1. Megan Card

    I didn’t like being pregnant either. Hang in their girl. Wish I lived closer! I’d come over and help you out around the house or take B to the park to give you a chance to rest.

    1. April McGrew

      Thank you so much! You have no idea how badly I wished we lived closer! I wish they’d give Greg a job in the DFW! 😉

      1. Megan Card

        Keep praying. It may happen sooner than you think 😉

  2. Cynthia Sanchez

    I completely understand where you’re coming from. My first pregnancy was magical and perfect my second was miserable. I often felt guilty for wishing the misery to go away. That didn’t mean I wanted my babies gone, it just meant that I wanted the nausea and exhaustion gone. Who wants nausea and exhaustion, nothing to feel guilty about wishing that away right?

    It’s your pregnancy, you have your own feelings and this is YOUR blog, feel free to talk/complain as much as you want. I really hope you start to feel better soon. Give me a shout if you need to vent.

    1. April McGrew

      Thank you so much. Yeah, there is a lot of guilt that accompanies it. I just keep reminding myself of how excited I will be to hold that little baby in my arms. That’s about all that helps right now. 🙂

  3. Jamie Jones

    I am so hoping that you feel better soon and that this pregnancy starts to be kinder to your body. I know what you mean by wanting to feel SO blessed and aware of the miracle but at the same time being simply miserable. I will pray for you and your blessings! 🙂

    1. April McGrew

      Exactly. Thank you so much! I’m hoping the bad feelings fade soon and all the good stuff remain!

  4. Julia Hembree

    I hope you feel better soon!
    I TOTALLY understand what you are saying.
    Girl, I HATED being pregnant. I did not glow. I was not cute. I was just huge and fat and miserable.
    But my son is my greatest blessing.
    So I get this, totally.
    You are so grateful for the baby.
    Just not the yucky being pregnant part.

    1. April McGrew

      Exactly! I really feel like I’m pretty much done after this. I am so thankful to have the one I have… and I’m thankful for the next one. Two kids is plenty. 🙂

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