deep thoughts

Dwelling. When I should have been sleeping.

March 22, 2013

I find myself awake at 4 am, hips screaming as I waddle to the bathroom to empty my bladder. I’ve fought the mental battle and lost, choosing immediate relief over long term sleep, because I know that my body will refuse to return to it’s original state. Such is the madness of this stage, perpetual [...]

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Growing up and standing up

March 21, 2013

I am wrapping up my last week in Texas. It’s considerably more mournful than I anticipated. I feel as though I am leaving a world behind. I am leaving friends, family, and opportunities behind. More importantly, I know that life will go on — so I feel as though I am being the one left [...]

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Chasing after peace

February 5, 2013

Sometimes I have to shut down my social media and close my eyes to escape it all. There’s so much drama. Pictures and videos of conspiracy theories and rants against the government, angry diatribes of slighted moments and the constant fear of losing something we never really had in the first place. It makes me [...]

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Food, Friends, and Finding My Value

January 15, 2013

All my hopes for a clean home were dashed when she started walking. My friends Elise and Kevin came over the other night. They flew in from their new home in Seattle and found themselves without a place to stay on Thursday night, so I invited them to come and stay for the evening at [...]

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When I am afraid.

January 10, 2013

I first posted this over at my friend Megan’s blog. It’s been several weeks and so I’ve decided to share it here. I wrote this before I made my second pregnancy official but I was worried about what was ahead. I don’t normally share things like this on my own blog, but it’s about my [...]

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Trusting in Provision

January 4, 2013

Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to remember good things in the past? Sure, if my husband says one thing about my weight I remember it for years, but I’ll forget the little good things in a heartbeat! Just me? Okay then. If you have known me personally (or online) these last few years, [...]

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I am worthy of my job.

January 3, 2013

Since I was a little girl, I had a plan for my future. It looked like this: graduate high school, go to college, have a career, get married, and become a stay at home mom when the time came. It happened exactly as I had planned. I graduated in the top 10 percent of my [...]

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For the Christmas Challenged.

December 1, 2012

My friends will tell you I’m kind of a freak. They would tell you I’m an overachiever, that I rarely relax in social settings because I’m too focused on a perfect meal or perfect food. They would tell you that I clean… compulsively. They also wouldn’t recognize my home right now if they walked in [...]

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Seasons of quiet

November 15, 2012

I’ve entered a quiet season. I didn’t plan it, but it has happened. There are times that my mind is just teeming with thoughts and opinions and a compelling desire to share every ounce of it. Then, there are times that I intentionally remain quiet, usually due to my mind getting out of control and [...]

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I have a Bible.

October 18, 2012

I have a Bible. (Shocking, I know. But that’s not the point. Carry on.) I have a Bible and it’s really dear to me. It’s the one I currently use in the mornings and it’s the only study Bible I own (except my RSV from college). It’s falling apart. It has ripped at the top [...]